i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
