alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
