Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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