I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
