i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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