Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
