Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
