I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
