He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
