My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
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What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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