this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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