just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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