he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
