So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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