After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
