Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Randomize
