wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
