STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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