she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize