So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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