What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
