Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
