You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
