I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
