What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
