I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
