yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
