So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
