I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
