Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Pants 0. Shit 1.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
