I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
