Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
