It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize