I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
