yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
