Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
