I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
