Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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