So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
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There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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