I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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