Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dicks are not precious.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
