I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
