It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
