I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
