Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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