my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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