Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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