he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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