so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
