She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
