I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
