The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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