I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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