That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
