Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
