sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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