I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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