and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize
