Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
