Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
it was like eating out sand paper
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You took a bar mat shot.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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