You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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