we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
ok first of all what the fuck
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
