lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
