I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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