ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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