is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
