she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
