how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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